Adversity: Your Seed of Greatness

(Three Secrets to Using Adversity to Become Great)

By Ed Sykes

From our first day on earth until our last, we face different levels of adversity. Adversity may be sickness, a property loss, or the loss of a family member. It may be a lost career promotion or a business setback. How we handle these adversities defines how we achieve greatness in our lives.

Let me share the story of James Blake, who overcame multiple adversities -- more than most of us would ever experience in a lifetime -- and yet achieved greatness. James Blake is a world class professional tennis player enjoying fame and making a six-figure income. However, in his childhood, he developed a rare disease that required him to wear a body brace for years. Other kids teased him, calling him “Iron Man” from the Marvel Comic Books, and he felt left out. During this time, he concentrated on his academics, read a wide variety of books, and developed himself as a well-rounded person. He also developed a heightened awareness for others who are going through difficult times.

Once he had the brace removed, he learned to play tennis with an intense passion not exhibited by many other tennis players, because he appreciated the opportunity to finally play tennis. He didn’t take this opportunity for granted. He attended Harvard and became the #1 player on their tennis team.

As a promising professional player, adversity struck again. In 2004, while practicing for a major tournament, he slipped and fell forward striking his neck against the metal pole that holds the tennis net. James’s doctor said that had James not slightly turned his head, James would have broken his vertebra and become paralyzed from the neck down. Instead, he was hospitalized with a fractured vertebra, blurred vision, and dizziness.

While in the hospital, James did much soul searching. Many family members and friends came by to offer encouragement, advice, and support. His coach was a constant bedside companion and finally asked James, “Do you want to play tennis again?” James said “yes,” and they developed a plan to start his comeback.

With the support of family, friends, and his coach, James started his comeback step by painful step. At first when he tried to play tennis, he still had to overcome his blurred vision and dizziness. He had doubts whether he would ever handle the 125 mph plus serves of his opponents.

Then he suffered another setback. During his rehabilitation, his father, with whom he had a very close relationship, developed cancer and passed away. During his father’s sickness, James was by his side. After his father passed away, James was devastated. However, he regrouped and carried on with the support of his mother, family, friends, and coach.

He returned to playing professional tennis, and there were many more losses than wins. But he stayed focused and determined and progressively improved. He began playing the top professional players competitively, and he began winning against the top players. Then he once again started winning tournaments. After this long journey, James became one of the top players in the world.

What can we learn from James Blake’s journey through adversity to greatness? The following are three keys to making adversity work for you:

1. If it Doesn’t Kill You, It Makes you Stronger

Many times we face adversities and say, “If only I can make it through this.” It may be a sickness, loss of a loved one, job loss, etc. By remaining focused, determined, and concentrating on the positive, many times you can become stronger.

Parents are now sheltering their children against any little adversity for fear it might be painful. I say allow your children to “grow up” and stop sheltering them from adversity. Teach them how to make adversity work for them. These adversities and the way they handle the adversities will define who they are and prepare them for challenges in the future. Some of our greatest business leaders, scientists, engineers, inventors, humanitarians, and sport heroes became the people they are because they overcame adversity.

2. Adversity Develops Unknown Talents

Once the door of adversity closes one opportunity to you, the door of greatness often opens another. James Blake, first during his sicknesses and then after, developed his awareness of helping other unfortunate people. Now he runs free tennis programs for disadvantaged children. Before his sickness, James was not known for his concentration and focus on the tennis court. After his sickness, he developed and became known for his mental toughness. When experiencing adversity, ask yourself, “What positive thing can come out of this?”



3. Adversity Rallies Your Resources

While James was sick, many resources arrived to help him. First, he had the time to step back to reflect on his life, goals, mission, and values. Second, he was able to obtain sound advice from family, friends, and others that he might not have been able to receive while traveling on the road. His setbacks allowed him to take time to summon resources (advice, help, etc.) he would not have realized if he had been traveling non-stop. He made his “downtime” work for him.

When adversity comes, don’t avoid it; attack adversity with all your resources. The way you manage adversity will define who you are and ready you for future opportunities, because adversity can be your seed of greatness.

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Takut Salah! Kenapa Juga?

Pernyataan yang sangat menarik diucapkan oleh pakar motivasi, Mario Teguh, pekan lalu tentang ‘manusia dan kesalahan’. Sebuah pernyataan yang tidak akan pernah saya lupakan.

Ketika itu, dalam sebuah acara rutin bertajuk Bussiness Art with Mario Teguh, yang ditayangkan TV O channel setiap Kamis malam, seorang audience mengajukan sebuah pertanyaan kepadanya: Jika Tuhan mengulang masa lalu, apa yang akan anda lakukan? Sebagaimana diduga rata-rata jawaban yang diberikan orang adalah : ‘merubah kegagalan di masa lalu menjadi keberhasilan…’.

Tapi, jawaban Mario Teguh sungguh berbeda: “Kalau saya... saya akan melakukan kesalahan dan kegagalan - kegagalan saya di awal waktu.... jadi saya sudah tahu apa saja yang membuat gagal.. hingga saya tidak akan mengulang kegagalan dimasa mendatang".

Bagi saya pernyataan Mario Teguh itu bermakna ‘dalam’. Ada implikasi yang menunjukkan bahwa kesalahan dan kegagalan bukan hanya tidak perlu disesali, tapi merupakan bagian wajib yang harus ada dalam kehidupan manusia untuk sukses.

Lebih jauh, dari pernyataan Mario Teguh tersebut, membuat saya tercenung, sekaligus introspeksi diri. Terkadang saya, mungkin beberapa dari anda juga pernah, merasa menyesal dengan keputusan yang salah kita ambil, atau kegagalan-kegagalan yang kita alami. Padahal, bisa jadi karena kesalahan dan kegagalan itulah kita jadi berhasil.

Dalam hidup, manusia dihadapkan dengan banyak pilihan. Dan, sebagai muslim kita disunnahkan untuk memulai dengan ‘istikharah’ sebelum menjatuhkan pilihan. Tapi, tetap terkadang kita mendapati pilihan yang telah kita ambil bukan yang paling tepat. Hanya karena, keputusan-keputusan yang kita nilai salah itu kemudian kita dihadapkan dengan kesulitan-kesulitan. Kita kemudian jadi menyesal dengan keputusan-keputusan yang telah kita ambil. Padahal, mengutip kata pak Mario, suatu keputusan meskipun itu salah itu adalah baik, dan kita justru menyesal bila tidak melakukan apapun.

Betul sekali pak Mario!. Orang seperti saya, mungkin juga beberapa dari anda, terkadang sulit untuk mengambil keputusan (akhirnya tidak melakukan apa-apa), hanya karena takut akan kesulitan yang bakal muncul sebagai konsekuensi keputusan tersebut.

Padahal, sekali lagi mengutip kata pak Mario, orang yang paling beruntung adalah orang yang paling banyak mengalami kesulitan dalam hidupnya. Lho, kenapa begitu ya? Meski pak Mario tidak mengurai lebih lanjut pernyataannya untuk soal ini, kita sepertinya bisa memetik banyak pelajaran dari banyak orang sukses di sekitar kita. Suatu fakta, bahwa hampir semua orang sukses, justru orang-orang yang pernah mengalami masa-masa sangat sulit dalam hidupnya. Contoh deh satu yang cukup dramatis, Oprah Winfrey. Melihat kesuksesannya sekarang ini, sangat sulit bagi kita untuk mempercayai begitu dahsyatnya kesulitan dan penderitaan hidupnya di masa kecil dan remajanya. Tapi, sekali lagi itu fakta. Kesulitan-kesulitanlah yang membuat seseorang menjadi lebih kuat.

Wah, instrospeksi lagi nih buat saya. Sebagai muslim, harusnya kita selalu siap atau mempersiapkan diri dalam menghadapi kesulitan-kesulitan hidup. Toh, kita sudah tahu bahwa hidup itu berisi banyak cobaan. Sebagaimana Allah ‘Azza wa Jalla berfirman: “Dan sungguh akan Kami berikan cobaan kepadamu, dengan sedikit ketakutan, kelaparan, kekurangan harta, jiwa dan buah-buahan. Dan berikanlah berita gembira kepada orang-orang yang sabar.” (QS. Al-Baqarah: 155).

Ada hal yang sangat penting yang saya simpulkan dari pernyataan pak Mario malam itu, bahwa dari setiap kesulitan, kegagalan atau kesalahan yang kita buat, harus ada pelajaran yang bisa kita ambil. Sebuah kutipan menarik dari nasihat pak Mario yang barangkali bisa kita jadikan pijakan saat kita dalam kegagalan: saat kita ‘terjatuh’ janganlah kita ‘berbaring’ terlalu lama!

Setuju!... Kita memang tidak boleh putus asa karena kesulitan, karena bisa jadi akan mendatangkan kesenangan. Allah ‘Azza wa Jalla berfirman yang artinya: “Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu, padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi (pula) kamu menyukai sesuatu padahal ia amat buruk bagimu; Allah mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahui.” (QS. Al-Baqarah: 216).

Tiba-tiba saya jadi teringat pada sebuah nasihat seorang sahabat. Nasihat yang selalu bikin saya semangat lagi: “Akhir kesedihan adalah awal kebahagiaan. Masa tidak akan berdiam dalam satu kondisi, namun terus berganti. Segala kesulitan, pasti akan berangsur hilang. Jangan putus asa hanya karena musibah yang datang bertubi-tubi. Satu kesulitan, akan dikalahkan oleh dua kemudahan. Merunduklah kepada Allah, pasti kesulitanmu akan sirna selekasnya. Setiap orang yang penuh dengan ketabahan, pasti akan mendapatkan jalan keluar.”

So, masih takutkah kita mengambil keputusan?(wid)

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How to Get Out of Debt

In this our modern life, it is almost impossible that anyone has no debt. For most households, carrying some debt is unavoidable, and even desirable. But, some of us find ourselves are unable to dig out from under a growing debt burden that consumes an ever growing portion of our resources.

Many of us, Indonesian cardholder, now, have credit card debt more than half portion of our resources or even more. Credit card companies have made running up that balance deceptively convenient. What is lost when we are on that spending spree is the realization that paying off our debt can be costly, in terms of both cash on hand and our overall financial health. For some of us who can not manage them well then they become destructive for our financial health.

I have find some interesting English articles on how to resolve it. Here, I try to summarize and modify them without leaving their ideas:

Assessing Our Debt

How much debt is too much? The figure varies from person to person, several experts suggest, if more than 20% of our take-home pay goes to finance nonhousing debt or if our rent payments exceed 30% of our monthly take-home pay, we may be overextended. Other signs of overextension include not knowing how much we owe, constantly paying the minimum balance due on credit cards (or worse, being unable to make the minimum payments), and borrowing from one lender to pay another.

Some financial experts suggest us to take a number of steps we can follow to eliminate that debt and get ourself back on track. Working our way out of debt will, of course, require us to adjust our spending habits and perhaps be more judicious in our spending.

Begin With a Budget

The first step in eliminating debt is to figure out where our money goes. This will enable us to see where our debt is coming from and, perhaps, help us to free up some cash to put toward debt.

Track our expenses for one month by writing down what we spend. We might consider keeping your ATM withdrawal slip and writing each expense on it until the money is gone. Hang on to receipts from credit card transactions and add them to the total.

At the end of the month, total up our expenses and break them down into two categories: Essential, including fixed expenses such as mortgage/rent, food, and utilities, and nonessential, including entertainment and meals out. Analyze our expenses to see where our spending can be reduced. Perhaps we can cut back on food expenses by bringing lunch to work instead of eating out each day. We might be able to reduce transportation costs by taking public transportation instead of driving a car. Even utility costs can be reduced by turning lights off, making fewer long-distance calls, or turning the airconditioner off. The goal is to reduce current spending so that we won't need to add to our debt and to free up as much cash as possible to cut down existing debt.

Three Steps to Reduce Debt

Once we've got our budget settled, according to the experts, we can begin to attack our existing debt with the following steps:

Pay off high-rate debt first. The higher your interest rate, the more you wind up paying. Begin with your highest-rate credit cards and eliminate the balance as aggressively as possible.

Transfer high-rate debt to lower-rate cards. Consolidating credit card debts to a single, lower-rate card saves more than postage and paperwork. It also saves in interest costs over the life of the loan. Comparison shop for the best rates, and beware of "teaser" rates that start low, say, at 6%, then jump to much higher rates after the introductory period ends.
If you can only find a card with a low introductory rate, maximize the value of that low-interest period. By paying off our balance aggressively, we will reduce the balance more quickly than we will when the rate goes up.

Borrow only for the long term. The best use of debt is to finance things that will gain in value, such as a home, an education, or big-ticket necessities, like a washing machine or a computer, that will still be around when the debt is paid off. Avoid using our credit card for concert tickets, vacation expenses, or meals out. By the time the balance is gone, we'll have paid far more than the cost of these items and have nothing but memories to show for it.

By analyzing your spending, controlling expenses, and establishing a plan, we can reduce -- and perhaps eliminate -- our debt, leaving us with more money to save today and a better outlook for our financial future. (wid/from several sources and pic from photosearch.com)

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